Hiccups

I hate the hiccups. They are to me, a painful experience. I've had many people try to give me remedies for my hiccups. Eating sugar, standing on my head, drinking water upside-down, a complicated math problem, looking at a bright light - oh wait, that's sneezing. But nothing seems to work. I remain stymied in my attempt to resolve my hiccup woes.

Help?