Fitness Tips for Telecommuters

When people find out I work from home, the usual response is something like, "Wow, that really takes discipline... I'd be watching TV all day."

But, my biggest problem (and I think other telecommuters would agree) is the discipline to STOP working. I often find myself tap-tap-tapping away at my keyboard late into the night. Or, I'll look at the clock and discover I've been sitting for hours at a time, with no break to even get a glass of water (which is why I can also sit for hours without a bathroom break!). OR, I find myself responding to an email at 4:30 a.m. my time, which could have totally waited, but I find myself held responsible to a response.

None of this is healthy for body or mind. My saving grace is that I do make time for exercise; a run right away in the morning, and then a "lunch break" with my personal trainer.

If you're struggling with finding time for fitness, Fitness Expert Grace DeSimone and host of Life's Too Short, Melanie Cole, MS, have some great tips.

1) Get yourself on a schedule like you're going to work. There's no reason you should still be in your PJs and have unbrushed teeth at 3:00 p.m. Even if you just change from your sleep attire into similar comfy clothes, it gives you a sense of purpose.

2) Estimate how long your commute would be if you had to go into the office, and dedicate those minutes to exercise. When I used to work in an office in Santa Monica, my round-trip commute was usually just under three hours. If yours is similar, you might not work out for that whole time, but you can still practice healthy behaviors for a portion.

3) Pepper in small activity breaks, even if it's just a few minutes on the treadmill or a quick walk around the block. Those small increments really add up.

4) Similar to that, make sure you're getting up every 45-60 minutes to stretch and shake out the tension your body accumulates from sitting. Remember, sitting is the new smoking.

5) Consider the help of wearable technology, which can increase your awareness of how much you move (or don't) and also provide motivation. Many smartphones will actually track your steps, or you can at least download an app that will.

6) Improve your posture! This is a hard one for me, especially when I have a sleepy kitten in my lap, but Grace has great guidelines: elbows should be at 40 degrees when you’re typing, and your screen should be at eye level. You can Google "ergonomic desk set-up" for ideas. Some folks may think sitting on a fitness ball is a great answer for rectifying posture, but Grace warns that doing so may exacerbate an issue you may not even be aware you have.

7) Encourage colleagues on conference calls to take stretch and activity breaks as well. Grace calls this "creating a culture for body care."

Some of these tips are certainly relevant if you work in an office environment, too. I encourage you to take a listen for all the details.

Click here to listen to or download the episode.

How to Behave During Arguments: 6 Crucial Tips

I am not a good arguer. Mostly because I abhor confrontation and usually just shut down whenever I get into a dispute-type situation.

Let's just say I could never, ever be a lawyer.

Don't get me wrong, I've been in some pretty heated arguments over the years (sisters don't always get along).

It's kind of an unavoidable scenario, so if you're going to verbally battle with someone, why not go in with tools to help you do so effectively? Dr. Walter Jacobson's new book, Forgive To Win!, teaches people techniques for building self-esteem, eliminating sabotaging behaviors, and creating the lives that they want.

He recently joined Dr. Holly on her Inherently You podcast to share some of his best advice.

1) First, when you find your blood start to boil, take a breath and try to stay calm. It's in that moment of pause that you can decide how you can approach the discussion in the most effective way.

2) Second, don't forget to listen. Most people want to be right (and prove the other person wrong) and are simply thinking about what to say next. You won't get anywhere if you're both just talking at each other, not with each other.

3) Also, think before you speak. How can say what you're wanting to say in a way the other person will want to hear it?

4) Make sure to validate the other person’s feelings to show you’ve listened and that you DO care. Then, you can address any misunderstandings with a counterpoint.

5) If both people are yelling uncontrollably, it's time to disengage. You’re bound to say things you don’t mean, and you won’t get resolutions. Step away from the argument until you’re ready to seek a resolution.

6) Finally, consider what you're actually fighting about. Blaming your partner for burning toast is likely not the core issue. There may be built-up resentments from the past that haven’t been addressed. Look for what hasn’t been resolved before the toast was burned. People hang onto so much baggage, a minor infraction can give license to attack.

Dr. Jacobson advises doing a "forgiveness inventory" at the end of each day. What did you do today that was selfish, unloving, judgmental, inconsiderate and uncool? How can you be different tomorrow?

Both Dr. Jacobson and Dr. Holly offer such great advice in this episode; I hope you'll take a listen.

Click here to listen to or download the episode.

The Secret Life of Female Fat

My first real attempt at dieting was around age 13, when I made a homemade "Deal a Meal" kit (who remembers those Richard Simmons infomercials?). I thought it was going to be the answer to my prayers.

Boy, was I disappointed when it didn't work.

I eventually lost the weight I wanted (and more), but did it in an unhealthy way that would plague me mentally and physically for years. Perhaps if I'd only learned more about the secret of female fat, I wouldn't have been in such a predicament.

Dr. Sylvia Tara (great name, doc!), author of The Secret Life of Fat: The Science Behind the Body’s Least Understood Organ and What It Means for You, recently joined HER Radio host, Dr. Pam Peeke, to explain what really is going on with the fat in our bodies, collectively and individually.

When it comes down to it, we are all unique. Your best friend might be able to regularly indulge and not gain an ounce, while you pack on pounds just by looking at a decadent dessert. Some part of that phenomenon may be genetic, but it may also have to do with your past weight loss efforts. Once you've lost fat, it becomes very difficult to maintain the loss.

Why? Because your fat serves much more of a purpose than preventing you from zipping up your skinny jeans. It's actually an endocrine organ that makes and releases necessary hormones.

For example, fat creates leptin, the hormone tied to metabolism and satiation. When you lose fat, you lose leptin. You become hungrier and your metabolism slows. You now have to eat less to maintain your weight. Ghrelin, the hormone that increases appetite, goes up.

It may seem like a lose-lose situation, but it doesn't have to be. Dr. Tara has some suggestions.

• Testosterone busts fat. Women have less than men, putting them at a weight loss disadvantage. But, regular exercise helps increase testosterone levels.
• Really play close attention to your intake of carbs and sugary foods in order to keep your insulin levels lower.
• Growth hormones help bust fat, and intermittent fasting increases these hormones. Extend the time between meal periods. Stop eating at 5 pm each night and don't eat again until 10 am the next day.
• Improve the health of your microbiome by adding more fiber to your diet.
• Use your emotions as fuel. Anger can actually keep you on track.

Finally, understand that your motivation to lose weight has to hold greater power than the food on your plate. That motivation may be as superficial as wanting to fit into a stunning dress or as serious as a dire medical diagnosis. If you're not passionate about your goal, you will not succeed long-term.

Dr. Tara is incredibly wise, and I'm not just saying that because we share the same first name. I highly encourage a listen to the episode.

Click here to download or listen to the episode. 

Holistic Health for Adolescents: Teas, Aromatherapy, Yoga & More

As adults, we often struggle with stress, fatigue, sleeping problems, issues with focus and concentration, headaches, even extreme substance use.

I mean, how many times have you finished off that bottle of wine because you had a bad day at the office?

Guess what? The teens and kids of today are also dealing with those same issues, including substance use (and abuse).

It doesn't seem fair... your childhood and teenage years are supposed to be the "good times," full of play and learning new things; maybe even falling in love for the first time. Not so much in today's society.

So, the sooner we can get the younger population interested in addressing these stressors in a healthy way, the better. You can literally shift a child's trajectory from obesity and chronic illness to a long, healthy life.

How? Nada Milosavljevic, JD, MD, author of the book Holistic Health for Adolescents, recently joined Naturally Savvy hosts Andrea Donsky and Lisa Davis to offer some guidance for using holistic methods to help your kids through the tough times.

Guided meditation, even if your child isn't fully paying attention 100 percent of the time, can be wildly helpful.

Aromatherapy utilizes essential oils derived from plants and can provide calming and relaxing sensations in the body and brain. Find a scent that is pleasurable to you and your child, and make sure you're using fully natural oils of high quality.

Teas such as chamomile and Valerian root are also useful for a calming effect.

Yoga can help bring about focus in provide opportunities for "being in the moment."

The important part is to find the most effective tools specifically for your kids so they can deal with stressors as they arise. Stockpiling them will only lead to diminished mental and physical health.

Dr. Nada is one super-smart woman (a lawyer AND a doctor) and she has some really helpful advice. I encourage you to take a listen to the episode for all the info.

Click here to listen to or download the episode.

A Mother's Perspective on Mental Illness

Photo Courtesy of RadioMD

Mental illness is a grave concern in our society. Some people who suffer from mental illness harm themselves, some harm others, and some do both.

That's not to say mental illness equals violence; an oft-misunderstood connection that's propagated by the media.

In fact, the large majority of those with a mental illness are not, nor will they ever be, violent. But, there are some that will resort to hurting others if they do not receive the proper care.

The 2012 shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, CT, spurred blogger Liza Long to pen the essay, "I An Adam Lanza's Mother," a narrative that quickly went viral. Liza's son has struggled with mental illness for much of his life; but, unfortunately, was put through what Liza calls "diagnosis roulette," never receiving a proper diagnosis until just recently.

Liza recently joined RadioMD's Naturally Savvy host, Lisa Davis, to bring awareness to the stigma mental illness receives.

Actually, Liza says, it's much more than a "stigma," but rather blatant discrimination. Many families dealing with mental illness unfairly suffer in silence because of that discrimination. Think about it... would you judge a child who was diagnosed with cancer or some other potentially life-threatening disease?

The discrimination goes beyond the child, too. Families are often neglected in the community, because others don't know how to deal with or react to that kind of "disease." And, parents are often blamed for their children's illness.

But, says Liza, treating a family with a mental illness the same as you would with a physical illness brings understanding and awareness for everyone. Ignoring the public health crisis of mental illness hurts all of us.

Her way of putting a humorous twist on the distinction is by advocating "casseroles." No one brings casseroles to your house if your kid has bipolar disorder... but, perhaps they should.

That understanding and awareness also needs to come from a shift in perspective. Too often attitudes surrounding mental illness are reactive- and crisis-based instead of proactive- and wellness-based. So many of these children could grow up to be healthy, happy, successful adults if given the right treatment and opportunity for well-being. Instead, many times they end up in prison.

Liza speaks so eloquently and so openly about her family's struggles, but she also provides hope. If you know someone who is dealing with mental illness, this interview is a great resource. If you don't know someone, it's an even better resource, as it sheds light on such a pivotal topic in today's world.

Click here to access or download the interview.

OK, Scale. Truce.

Photo Courtesy of RadioMD

That day was a good day.

 In today’s world, a “good day” is often hard to come by. We have stress, pressures, obligations. Whatever you want to call that thing that makes us contemplate the struggle of either crawling back into bed and giving the world the middle finger or getting out there one more day and just fucking get it done.

 My victory was, in some people’s eyes, a small victory. In my world, it was like winning a gold medal. Or, winning the emotional lottery. I finished first in the race of Sylvia.

 What I’m about to tell you is probably not going to make sense to the majority of you. In my rational brain, it doesn’t make sense to me.

In my irrational brain, the brain that rules my hatred of self, of body image, of weight and everything that comes with the word “weight,” this victory had been seemingly insurmountable… until now.

 It’s such a profound realization, I’m torn between keeping it to my own celebratory self and shouting it to the world.

 I guess I’m shouting it to the world.

I went to the doctor last week. In the past few years, whenever I go to the doctor and the nurse has me step on the scale (that awful bastard of a machine), I’ve closed my eyes and pre-warned him or her in this way: “I don’t want to know what it says, so please don’t say it out loud.” They always comply, and I leave the office feeling at least a bit less self-judgmental.

What you don’t know won’t hurt you, right?

This time was different. I’m a different person lately. I give fewer fucks (in all reality, zero fucks). Things that used to bother me profusely (rumors, particularly) make me laugh in their stupidity. I’m allowing patience in situations where I wouldn’t have before. In a scenario where I normally would have been a raging bitch, I ask myself this first: “Is this bump in the road really going to change your life?” Obviously, the answer is almost always “no” (okay, always).

Cut to me entering the clinic’s examining room. The nurse says cheerfully, “Go ahead and step on the scale.” Something she probably says, what, 10 times a day? Twenty? Thirty? (It’s a busy clinic).

She doesn’t know what impact those words have on me.

She doesn’t know that the number that pops up can have a debilitating effect on my ability to function. She doesn’t know that as soon as she leaves the room, the chances of me bursting into tears is 120 percent.

Fuck it.

I get on the scale. It takes a second to register (torture, if you’re someone who has body image/eating disorder issues). And, then, there it was: ...

It registered in my brain as this: “Grrr… that’s disappointing.”

And, then, it came out of my mouth as a JOKE: “Huh, that’s disappointing.”

We both had a good laugh.

Here’s how I knew that number was no longer keeping me prisoner… the fact that I was willing to joke about it. That let me know that it was okay. While I was not completely thrilled with the number, I did not let it affect me as it normally would.

I just let it… be.

My very good friend recently said something to me that made me pause (and, simultaneously, break into tears). Her words of wisdom: “You can’t beat yourself up for wasted time. You’ve been working on yourself all this time and probably haven’t even realized it.”

I was worried that all this time of being concerned about what others think of me and not focusing on my own happiness, that I’d basically gifted those years away to the doubters, the judges, the whisperers.

I couldn’t comprehend that in all those years, there WAS growth. There WAS happiness.

In the end, I’d been gifting myself. With knowledge. With experiences. With strength.

I’m really looking forward to the next few years of gifts that I’ll be giving to myself.

I'm Stepping Out of My Story

*This post was inspired by an interview from the radio show I work on, Naturally Savvy.

Photo courtesy of RadioMD.com

Stories can be fun. They can be conversation starters, or ways to reminisce at family gatherings. They can provide bonding and create fond memories for your kids and grandkids.

Stories can also be a detriment, especially the ones you tell yourself... over, and over, and over again.

Those types of stories can be filled with regret, anger, sadness, self-deprecation, anxiety, even depression. None of those feelings represent the picture of health, whether mental, emotional or physical.

I'll give you an example of one of my stories that I struggled with for a long time (and sometimes still do).

A while back, I made a huge life decision to pursue something that would make me happy and give me fulfillment. I didn't know how it would turn out; it was literally one of those "now or never" moments.

Part of that decision involved moving to Los Angeles and leaving my husband behind in MN. We're still together and manage to make the long-distance marriage work, much to the surprise (and sometimes dismay) of our family, friends and community.

My husband has supported me, for the most part. But, for a very long time, I suffered with extreme guilt. I was stuck in a story where I kept telling myself, "You are hurting others. You're being selfish. You need to be there for everyone else. Putting yourself number-one is unacceptable. What the fuck are you thinking?"

The rumors that swirl around and around about me back in MN only made it worse. "Sylvia moved to L.A. because she was doing drugs and it's easier to get drugs in CA." Or, the most recent and flabbergasting one, "Sylvia is in porn and prostitution, and that's how they get their money."

WTF?

As ridiculous as those rumors are, I let the negativity and anger of others infiltrate and exacerbate the corruption of the story I was telling myself.

And, for a very long time, I never let myself fully believe that the decision I'd made was the right one... even though I'd experienced true pockets of happiness. REAL happiness. I still put others first, just under the guise of my new-found "freedom," and I kept the sad story alive.

Recently, though, I've been stepping out of that story. I've cleared those pages and am writing new ones; pages filled with happiness and creativity and love. I'm attempting what Kim Schneiderman, author of Step Out of Your Story, advises: "by choosing a version that values life lessons and meaningful personal victories, you can redirect your energy and narrative toward your desires and goals."

Once in a while that old sad story will creep back into my mind, but I know I have the love and support of dear friends who will help me re-shape and re-tell it the right way. Plus, it's OK to revisit the pain now and again. Schneiderman says it's essential to value the growth (and grieving) that occurs when you go through difficult life events.

This has been a difficult life event.

What stories do you tell? Are they keeping you from goals and dreams? Or contributing to happiness and success?

Those blank pages are just waiting for you, too.